this aside, i feel there would be no mistaking this message...
i was reading an article yesterday called 20 great gift ideas for women. i thought, let me see what women are asking for this christmas. much to my dismay, the slendertone belt for women was on this list (which was obviously written by a man with three brain cells or a death wish).
here is the slendertone belt for women.
see how toned her abs are? well they weren't always like that! she used to be a fatass until her man gave her this belt for christmas! the abs toning belt from slendertone gives you a firmer and flatter stomach, in just 4 weeks! it claims to be a revolutionary way to firm and tone your waistline, and is clinically proven to deliver results – fast!
i know what results will be delivered fast... a punch to the head. the slendertone belt also makes a perfect anniversary or birthday gift.
just so you know, i have tried this belt. it sends what feels like an electrical pms pain into each muscle in your stomach, causing the most unnatural, sickening, and laughably painful sensation you can imagine. it is so uncomfortable that apart from ripping it off, all i could do was laugh hysterically and jump around the room. maybe some people like it. i'd personally rather do the 120 crunches (the belt's equivalent) than wear this bitch for 20 minutes. i'd rather do 500 crunches. however, if you're interested in masochism, check out the slendertone website.
the article should have been called, great gift ideas for women-from men who wish they were single again.
also on this list was, a blender, a vacuum, and diet pills. ;)
moron! i realize that not every woman wants a cashmere scarf for christmas, but i'm pretty f-ing sure that none want a slendertone.
"merry christmas honey, you're fat."
has any guy ever given you an amazing gift like this? what do you really want for christmas/hanukkah this year?
4 comments:
OMG I've tried it to. I hated the way it felt. I took it off it like 2 seconds.
Dee, I would love your personally insight/interpretation to the gifts Dizzy has given to me when we first started going out.
A colander – so I wouldn’t struggle so much draining the macaroni with chopsticks when he came over and I made him mac & cheese. I think this was the first gift he bought me. What does this mean? He expects me to the in the kitchen cooking him up meals all the time while barefoot and pregnant?!
A penis whistle – what he thought was a hysterical gag gift when he went on a trip to Cancún with his frat brothers. I think this was his second gift to me. He got a kick out of seeing me attempting to play my penis whistle. I won’t even comment with this one.
And you ask me why I'm still with Dizzy? I have not clue; he must be super charming.
Sounds like having a baby! Endure that pain to tone my abs? No thanks! I did get a LARGE sweater from my brother this year. Ordinarily it would have been insulting but being from him, I'll let it go. He's clueless.
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