my poor nostrils

i still can't get the smell out of my nose.

this morning, i went to dublin to do some shopping. on the 12:30 bus back to clane, a group of the world's stinkiest irish people colonized in the bus row behind me.

try to imagine, if you will, the odor of someone who has not showered for 6 months and then puts chicken soup under their armpits and parmesan cheese in their socks. then, imagine that this person eats a fiery mexican burrito, shits their pants, and allows 2 more months to go by.

my nostrils were invaded today by the worst scent i could imagine. i had to breathe through my sweater sleeve for 42 minutes and i could still make out the odor.

please, oh please, smelly people of the world... if you don't care about personal hygiene, at least do it for everyone else who has to smell you!

this gets me thinking about all the times my nostrils are invaded unfairly by someone else's stink...

irish men who fart in bars. why the hell should i have to breathe in the particles from your ass? that's what fart smell is... it's shit particles floating around in the air. why should i have to breathe your shit particles you disgusting lazy person?! can't you just go outside? or into the bathroom? what makes you think it's ok to inflict this abuse upon the noses of the innocent? i know a few of these men, actually. they are friends of barry. one in particular likes to pass his gas right next to you and then flee. the fleeing farter. i called him disgusting and he laughed. i should vomit on these public farters and see how they like being invaded.

women who wear too much perfume on airplanes. have you ever been stuck next to someone on a plane who was wearing too much perfume or cologne? gag me. your perfume is making my eyes water and i wish i could eject you.

irish men who don't wear deodorant! good GOD. why isn't there a rule that deodorant be mandatory for every person on this planet? even if i drink 23 pints of guinnness, i can still smell you, you stinky b.o. man!

i'd better stop. i'm getting so enraged. smelly people make me feel violent. i want to punch them in the head. i try to be considerate to others. i shower, i don't wear perfume on planes, i wear deodorant and i most certainly don't fart in bars... or anywhere else for that matter. :) i'm not saying i'm the most perfect smelling person, (like my friend melissa who smells like marvelous muffins at all times), i'm just saying that a little consideration goes a long way.

in closing, being smelly is being mean to yourself and to those around you!

friends, i hope your nostrils are filled with only pleasant aromas today and every day.

xo, sally sniffer