worth it... or not?

Lately I've been exploring in-the-moment enjoyment vs. guilt and negativity that happens afterwards in order to decide... worth it... or not?

If something is good, enjoyable, and/or fun while you're doing it-- but after you've done it -- it's un-enjoyable, has negative repercussions, or you hate yourself for one reason or another... is it worth it?

Here are some examples:

1. Eating salmon. As you probably know, I stopped eating meat when I moved to Ireland because the cows and sheep (and pigs and chicken) are so freaking adorable I can't stand it. But occasionally I eat fish. Half because I like it, and half because I feel like a real pain-in-the-ass being a "vegetarian." And also because, and this is so discriminatory, I don't think they're as cute as cows, sheep, pigs, or chickens. Here's the thing... Most of the time after I eat fish, I feel immensely sad/guilty for taking the life of an innocent fish... OR ELSE, I become horribly and disgustingly nauseous, particularly after eating salmon, like I am now. I had lunch with Barry at Zest today and was deciding between the penne arrabiata (that I order every time I'm there) or the "fish of the day." I ordered the fish, which was salmon, and I have to say it tasted DELICIOUS while I was eating it. Now, I feel like barfing. I've felt like barfing for the past 3 hours. It always seems to disagree with me. Do any of you have this reaction to salmon (or any other kind of food)? Is it worth it? I'm leaning towards definitely, 100% NOT.

2. Binge Drinking. So much fun while you're doing it. Not so much fun the next day. The sad truth is, I often feel "more myself" after a few drinks than I do at any other time. Since I drink excessively so much less often these days, the consequences are so much worse. I try to convince myself that 1 or 2 drinks is just as much fun as 8... and... it's just not. Sure, sometimes 1 drink is perfect. But sometimes, you need to really let loose. (Embarrass yourself in front of strangers, sing in public, make new friends who you will definitely avoid next time you see them, lie about your profession, do mini-guinness shots, slur your words, mindlessly devour greasy food, hug the 70-year-old town drunk, etc...) Which of course leads to... for me... next day vomiting, drinking blues, questions about "did I say anything inappropriate," inability to get out of bed, restlessness, anxiety, ravenous hunger and excessive eating which includes food like pizza, doritos, potato chips, and ice cream, zero willpower, general overall grumpiness, bitchiness, and sometimes crying... Please weigh in friends... Is binge drinking worth it? Sadly, I'm tempted to say, that despite everything, it is...

3. Watching "The Hills." This was one of the things (like reading the Twilight series) that I said I would NEVER do. I'm truly ashamed. I watch The Hills. I watch it often. While I'm doing it, I love it. Afterwards, I feel guilty, embarrassed, and shallow. I can't believe I admitted it. I'd better hurry up and post this. So, my question is, The Hills, worth it or not?

Do you have any times when you aren't sure if it's worth it? If so, do tell. xo. --Barfy Barbara